I can't wait to get home and rip of my wife's bra...
These straps have been killing me all day.
It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps.
As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress....
Here's the best one I know. It's a bit long...but I have faith in you ;)
A doctor, a lawyer,and an engineer are sentenced to death. Why is not important to the story...what's important is that the death sentence will be carried out in France - via guillotine.
The doctor is first. The executioner straps him down, hoists the glittering blade aloft, and lets it drop....
A famous physicist, an old man, and a boy scout are taking a tourist flight in a small plane.
A famous physicist, an old man, and a boy scout are taking a tourist flight in a small plane. After they reach cruising altitude, the pilot suddenly has a heart attack. His last words before he dies are, "There are two parachutes over there ... good luck."
Before they can even talk about how...
Guys, I'm not saying that Flat Earthers, Anti-Vaxxers, and Creationists are unintelligent people but...
there is a reason why shoes with Velcro straps come in adult size.
My friend was a violent serial killer...
Ended up getting caught some time back and sentenced to death by electric chair.
Fast-forward to day of execution.
Guard straps him in.
Guard: "Any last requests?"
Friend: "Remind me of buzzfeed clickbait articles 1 last time"
Guard: "The electric current is going ...
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