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Relativity Jokes

Einstein was pleasuring himself when he came up with the theory of relativity.

Stroke of genius.

I can’t believe it’s been more than 100 years since Einstein proposed The Theory of Relativity.

Feels like only yesterday.

According to Einstein's Theory of General Relativity...

Everyone is attracted to you. At least a little bit.

Relativity joke (most won't get)

A cop stops a driver for driving a red light.

In court, the man claims: "the light looked green to me", so they charged him for speeding

Einstein: Dad, my paper on the Theory of Relativity finally got published!!

Einstein’s Dad: Damn son, it’s about time!

A man walks into a bar

And orders a drink. Whilst drinking it, a massively scarred Asian dude stumbles in the bar.

"What happened?" The man asks as he downs his drink.

"There's a dragon 10km east from here." The Asian dude rasps before passing out.

So the Man gets on his bike and travels 10km east an...

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Explain the difference between theory and relativity

Little Johnny's teacher gives the class a homework assignment, "Explain the difference between a theory and reality." Little Johnny goes home and is so stumped he asks his sisters ages 21 and 16 for help, and they can't come up with anything either. He then tries asking his father. The father thinks...

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A professor was teaching the theory of relativity...

when a late student came into class.

The student asked, "what did I miss?"

"it's about damn time." The professor replied.

I started to read a book on general relativity

But I got lost in time

How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

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I tried reading Einstein's original paper on special relativity.

Night after night for 6 months I tried to understand it. I tried everything. I looked through previous publications to understand the knowledge at the time. I tried to work through some problems and I thought about the theories in novel ways to try to get an intuitive grasp or even any at all. It pr...

"According to relativity, time itself travels at the speed of light, but along the imaginary axis."

"i c"

After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting...

"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"

Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time"

Einstein dies and goes to heaven

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him,

"You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to

sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a ...

Relativity

A student is taking the train back to MIT, and realizes that Albert Einstein just sat down in the seat next to him! Excitedly, the student asks: "Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?"

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Sitting on a cloud in Heaven, Einstein tries to explain Hitler relativity theory. When finished, Einstein asks Hitler "Did you get me?"

"No," replies Hitler, "you died of old age."

For my PhD thesis, I wanted to write the best researched paper about General Relativity

But I ran out of time so I failed.

If Einstein hadn't come up with the Theory of Relativity, someone else would have.

It was only a matter of time.

*[xpost]/r/showerthoughts*

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[NSW] Bugs Bunny helps Daffy Duck understand the Theory of Relativity.

Bugs and Daffy are chilling in their dorm at the Looney Tunes University. Clearly frustrated with his physics homework, Daffy slams his textbook, and tells Bugs "This Theory of Relativity crap is confusing the fuck out of me any chance you can help me understand this shit?"

Bugs calms his fr...

My SO told me she had never heard of Einstein's Theory of Relativity before today.

I said, "It's about time!"

What does an incestuous physicist study?

The theory of relativity.

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The only thing that matters about penis size is how it compares to your significant other's past lovers.

It's the theory of genital relativity.

Michaelangelo, Albert Einstein, and George W. Bush die and end up at heaven's gate...

Michaelangelo walks up to the gate and St. Peter tells him. "Listen, we have had some recent intruders faking who they were. Is there any way you can prove that you are the real Michaelangelo?"

Michaelangelo requests a board and he then proceeds to draw the most beautiful painting ever seen b...

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A poop walks into a bar.

He jumps up onto a bar stool and sits there for a moment, waiting to be served.

The barman spots the poop on the stool, looks around the bar and shouts, "HEY! How did this get here?!"

"Well, it's a long story... " says the poop, "basically, I woke up in the sewer last year and sudden...

Santa is entangled

Eureka! I have it. Santa's wave function is entangled with the wave functions of all non-naughty kids and all presents. Observation on Christmas morning collapses the wave function, so presents appear instantaneously under the trees of all good kids. No violation of relativity in Santa's travel. ...

I was doing some scientific research on the House of Hapsburgs and I have now discovered

The Theory of General Relativity.

Einstein, Picasso and George W. Bush stand before the Pearly Gates

Einstein, Picasso and Bush stand before the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter gets out to greet them and says: "I'll let you in, but first you have to prove that you are who you say you are."

Einstein: "That's easy. Could you give me a blackboard and some chalk, please?"

St. Peter snaps h...

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