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Reindeer Jokes

Clarence the brown-nosed reindeer.

He was right behind Rudolf, he could fly just as fast as him, but could never stop as quick as Rudolf.

How does Santa choose which female reindeer to breed with his prized stud?

By choosing the one that’s the best bang for the buck.

Which one of Santa's reindeer do dinosaurs like the least?

Comet.

If the answer to “what do you call a blind reindeer?” is ‘no idea’, what do you call a blind reindeer that can’t walk?

Still no idea.

(OC - and stupid) If there was a reindeer racing league, what would it be named?

NASCARibou

How many reindeer were left after Santa got stranded in the mountains?

Only one. Donner ate the rest.

How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh and reindeer?

Nothing! It’s on the house!

Ever heard of Adolph the Brown-nosed reindeer?

His brakes don’t work

What do the lady reindeer do on Christmas eve?

They hit the town and blow a few bucks.

What do female reindeer do for fun?

Go into town and blow a couple hundred bucks.

How may reindeer does Santa have?

2, Rudolph and Olive the other reindeer

How can you tell Rudolph the reindeer was male?

He was only liked when he was useful.

One of Santa's reindeer served in the army with Tina Turner

Back then he was known as Private Dancer

Everyone knows about Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer..

But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.

He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high..he just couldn't stop as fast.

What's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?

Comet.

Did you know there is a 10th reindeer?

It's true. His name is Jerry and he is in charge of managing deliveries that the elves had, which includes food orders. He started his own business.

Its called "Deer Dash"!

Kid: Santa, what’s the story of your reindeer names?

Santa: Why I name them after memories, like Prancer frolicking through the snow!

Kid: What about Donner?

*A dark countenance settles on Santa’s face*

Santa: The year was 1847, snowfall had trapped us in the Sierra Nevada...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You've never heard of the 10th Reindeer?

The first eight are Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen.

The 9th is Rudolth the red nosed reindeer, and the 10th is the jerk called Olive.

Why do i call him a jerk? You know... Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names.

Blinking lights, presents, reindeer, and snowmen everywhere…

I love Thanksgiving.

What did the female reindeers do when their boyfriends were off of Santa delivering presents on Christmas Eve?

They went to the nearest pub and blew a few bucks.

Santa’s reindeer had an issue with their dinner reservation.

The restaurant simply refused to seat the Donner party.

Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer has a little known brother.

Randolf the brown nosed reindeer,

he can run as fast as Rudolf, he just can't stop as quick.

One Christmas Eve, many decades ago, Santa Claus announced to his elves, "I'm supposed to begin my annual flight in one hour. But there are still some toys that need to be made and put into my sack. I need all seven of my elite toymakers to finish the toys on time."

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Kringle," said the elf in charge of the workshop. "One of the elite toymakers is on vacation, and two are sick. I'm afraid we only have four elites tonight."

"So be it," said Santa.

It took two hours for the elves to finish making the toys. By the time they were done...

Why was rudolf the reindeer so angry?

Because his wife went to Las Vegas and blew 50 bucks.

Where do you find reindeer ?

It depends where you left them.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were ...

What’s the difference between Beer Nuts and Reindeer Nuts?

Beer nuts are about $2.50, Reindeer Nuts are under a buck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've started my own brand of Reindeer Jerky...

I call it "Little Blitz N' Pieces"

Who is the loneliness Reindeer on their birthday?

I know you're thinking it's probably Rudolph, but, let's just say no one wants to go to Donner party.

What is the purpose of reindeer?

It makes the grass grow, sweetie.

What do you call a reindeer on Halloween?

A cariboo.......

I'll see myself out

Which of Santa's reindeer is the most important this year?

Vaxen

When four of Santa's elves got sick...

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Christmas pressure.

Then, Mrs. Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When went to harness the reindeer, he fou...

Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to spend Christmas together?

Because they have herd immunity.

A guy dressed up in an elf suit walks into a bar

"Could you name all of Santa's reindeer?" he asks the bartender. "Oh my God!" the bartender said with tears in his eyes. "It would be an honor."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Finnish reindeer

An American tourist arrived at a reindeer farm in Finnish Lapland. He asked the farm owner "I've heard that the reindeer and human vaginas are identical. Is this true?" The farm owner looked at the tourist for a while and answered: "You have to ask my neighbor. He is the only man in the village who ...

Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?

No, they already have names.

How do reindeer fly?

They use their Missile-toes.

(courtesy of my ten year old this morning lol)

Apologies to the original 8 reindeer

The other reindeer who harrassed Rudolph was named 'Olive'.

Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.

Why was Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer getting a divorce?

Because every time his wife went out, she'd end up blowing 50 bucks

What do the wives of Santa’s Reindeer do on Christmas Eve while Santa and the Reindeer are off delivering presents? (NSFW)

They go into town and blow a few bucks.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year...

Male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rud...

Why doesn't Santa use reindeer milk in his coffee?

He prefers non-deery creamer.

What's a reindeer's favourite celebrity?

Beyonsleigh

Whats the difference between a Knight and Santa’s reindeer?

The Knight is slayin the Dragon, and the reindeer are dragon the sleigh!

Everyone knows how Bert the Brown Nose reindeer got his name, but nobody knows how Rudolph did

Rudolph the regular nose reindeer was on sabbatical and took a brief trip through Portland Maine.

While Rudolph and his life partner Gary were there, they spotted a fortune teller on the other side of the street. As the pair crossed the road, a truck carrying industrial red naval paint swerv...

Why is the world's funniest joke not in Rudolph the Reindeer's joke book?

Because the real joke is in Comet's!

What do you call Santa's most impolite reindeer?

Rudeolph

What do all the Female Reindeer do when Santa takes the crew out to deliver presents? (NSFW)

They go into town and blow a few bucks. ;)

Happy holidays everyone! Wish you all good health & wealth in the New Year!

Do you recall the name of the other, 10th reindeer?

You have the original eight reindeer: Dasher, Prancer, etc. And of course, there is Rudoloph which makes nine.

The 10th reindeer is Olive. It says so right in the song:

"Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"!

What did Rudolph the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?

This will sleigh you.

What does santa do with a lazy reindeer?

Sleighs 'em

What's the difference between a reindeer and a caribou?

Caribou can't fly.

Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer died today over Barcelona. He was struck by a flock of seagulls and a 747.

Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

What do reindeer have that other animals don't have?

Baby reindeer

A British man goes to visit his granny, who recently moved to Greece

When he takes his coat off he notices she doesn't have any. "We need to go buy you a coat granny."

"You don't need a coat in Greece, dear."

He takes his shoes off and notices she also doesn't have any wellies. "We need to get you some wellies granny."

"You don't need wellies in ...

What’s the difference between Santa Claus and voter fraud?

One is a childish fantasy about getting what you want. The other has flying reindeer.

What happens when you cross Santa Claus with five shots of tequila?

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dad, is Santa real?

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the popul...

As the world’s population swelled over the past few decades, Santa’s sleigh got heavier and heavier, requiring more reindeer to pull it.

Santa hired two new reindeer as crew, Lee and Franklin.

As part of their new hire training both Lee and Franklin go through a lot of physical training, navigational training, as well as a list of things that is to be packed on the sleigh.

Franklin is going through the list of banned it...

Queen Victoria died and went to heaven.

When she got there, she was informed that she would be reincarnated. However, she could choose which animal.

"One has always thought reindeers are majestic." She said.
So sure enough, a moment later she found herself in the form of a reindeer.

Grazing happily in the England's green ...

A lot of people don't know about Rudolph's wife Olive,

but she is mentioned in the song: "Olive, the other reindeer."

Which of Santa's reindeer has the worst manners?

RUDE-olph, of course!

What's the name of the reindeer that's directly behind Rudolf? You know the one, he's just as fast as Rudolf but can't stop as fast.

Larry the Brown Nosed Reindeer

Santas reindeer get lost on a flight one night and don't return to the pole. After being missing for weeks, they are found, the only survivor being Donner. When asked how he survived, he replied:

"They don't call me Donner for nothin'"

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