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Oxygen Jokes

Oxygen and potassium went on a date...

...it went ok.

Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

The other chemicals were like 'omg'!

Two noble gases went on a date.

There was no reaction.

Two protons went on a date.

There was no attraction.

Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.

They felt...

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A nurse at the ICU noticed a patient trying to say something through his oxygen mask.

Nurse: Sorry, what was that again?

Patient: Are my testicles black?

Nurse : Excuse me?

Patient : Are my testicles black?

The nurse was quite young and beautiful,and was used to getting hit on by patients. But seeing the state the poor man was in, she decided to check ...

I have an oxygen addiction

I tried to quit, but after a few minutes I was feeling blue.

Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar.

The bartender says: "OH SNaP"

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A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he migh...

Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium

Helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"

I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together.

OMg

Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

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A man is in the hospital wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth.

"Nurse" he mumbles. "Are my testicles black?"

The nurse lifts up his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other...she takes a close look and says "There's nothing wrong with them, sir."

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly "Thanks ...

Oxygen and Potassium went on a date, and apparently it was OK

But then we saw Oxygen getting together with Magnesium, and we were like, OMg Oxygen is cheating on Potassium! That is *not* OK!

But then when Nitrogen started flirting, Oxygen said NO.

An Oxygen molecule go sees a doctor

"Doc, Im suffering from terrible cramps" says the Oxygen Molecule.

"That's an easy fix," says the doctor, "Just eat some Potassium and you'll be OK!"

Hey mate do you know what are the chemicals symbols for sodium, bromine and oxygen?

Na BrO !

I heard a joke about oxygen and potassium. I’d say it was pretty OK.

Yea, I also heard that sodium was under assault.

I am writing a thesis on how plants create oxygen.

There is only text and no photos-ynthesis.

Michael Jackson, what element comes after Oxygen?

He He!

Oxygen is a toxic gas

You get addicted to it and can't live without it after taking it only once and anyone taking it dies at an average age of 80.

My blood sometimes, for no reason at all, decides to not carry enough oxygen.

I have fickle cell anemia.

NASA's Perseverance rover on Mars has successfully tested a device that can convert carbon dioxide (98% of Mar's atmosphere) into oxygen and carbon monoxide.

Sounds like a great idea, until all the Martians start dying from carbon monoxide poisoning.

Why were oxygen, hydrogen and carbon wearing suites and ties?

Because they are formyl group.

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Why is sex and oxygen similar?

They’re both unimportant, unless you’re not getting any.

What did Sodium say to Bromine and Oxygen when they offered a threesome?

NaBrO

One boron and 2 oxygens walk into a bar

Bartender: Ahh!

What did methane say on reacting with oxygen in presence of m2o3?

That's the wrong hole that's the wrong hole



Context: CH4 + O2 ( in presence of Mo2O3)-->hcho(meth-anal)

Biology tell me you're 70% water. Physics tells me that you're 99.99% empty space. Chemistry tells me that you're 60% oxygen.

But I'm telling you that you're a 100% CUTIE!!!

What did the scientist said after mixing oxygen and magnesium?

O Mg

Potassium and Oxygen hooked up

It would have been OK, if Potassium hadn't come first.

Bonus: Oxygen, Hydrogen, and Carbon always wear their best suits when they get together. They're a formyl group.

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Most important body part..

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who is in charge.

Brain said "I should be incharge because I run all the body's systems. So without me, nothing would happen"

Blood said "I should be incharge because I circulate oxygen all over the body. Without me y...

If a chemistry student is too stupid to learn about Oxygen,

does that make him an oxymoron?

What do you call someone who is scared of the protein which carries oxygen throughout the blood?

A hemophobe

hey guys im trying out jokes, What do you get when oxygen and iron meet?

Ah darn, I forgot the punchline. Sorry guys Im a little rusty

Consuming Oxygen is a dangerous addiction.

People just keep inhaling it till they die.

TIL a Goose's beak is composed of 4 elements: Hydrogen, Oxygen, Nitrogen, and Potassium.

HONK

I knew a chemist who survived solely on oxygen and potassium.

When I asked him what he felt like, he said OK.

My friend said that he replaced the Oxygen with Uranium in a water molecule.

I was like, "HUH?"

My wife left me because she said I kept leaving oxygen tanks around the house.

I thought that they created atmosphere.

What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together?

Air conditioning

You wanna hear about the time I gave my girl a shot of sodium, bromine, and oxygen?

NaBrO

Hey, did you hear that Carbon and Oxygen broke up?

Yeah, it turns out their relationship was actually pretty toxic. Personally, I never saw it.

I was told that the friendship between sodium, potassium, and oxygen was bad.

I said, "Na. Pretty sure it is OK."

My social life is like an oxygen mask

Nonexistant unless something bizarre happens

Three atoms, hydrogen, helium, and oxygen walk into a bar.

They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.

Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"

Germanium thinks about it for a min...

An oxygen atom was looking forward to a threesome,

Instead the poor guy got ozoned.

So Hydrogen finally admitted to Sodium that she had been bonding with Oxygen

Sodium reacted violently.

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773."

A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

What do you call a super watered down liquor with all the oxygen removed?

Hydro-gin

Two Hydrogens walk into a bar and spot an Oxygen

Feeling adventurous, they approach her and ask "Hey baby, can we interest you in a waterway?"

So an oxygen molecule walks into a bar... [biochem joke]

and goes up to the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender hands the Oxygen it's drink he notices the small molecule petrified with fear. He notices this and quickly realizes hemoglobin sitting alone in a corner booth with an obvious attraction to oxygen. The bartender looks and says to Oxygen "Don...

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The year is 2100. Earth has been ravaged by a variety of natural and man-made disasters. All the flatlands are now seabeds after the ice caps have melted. Most of the planet's land is barren wasteland. Barely any oxygen is produced, and most animal life has died out.

All you can hear is cockroaches and The Rolling Stones 2100 Tour.

Oxygen and iron are on a date

Oxygen and iron are on a date at a karaoke bar and everyone is telling them to go sing. So they say "we're a little rusty but we'll give it a shot"

Stats joke..

Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.

The physicist says, "I know what ...

A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician walk into an office to discover the trash can is on fire.



The physicist announces "We must put the garbage can in the fridge so that the temperature will be below the ignition temperature and therefore put itself out!"

The chemist replies "No, we must cover the garbage can so that the fire consumes all of the oxygen and, in the absence of re...

An oxygen atom and a potassium atom were involved in a car accident

Fortunately, they came out OK

Why did prince Oxygen inherit the throne after the king died?

Because he was the rightful heir

What do you call the iron-stealing, oxygen-depleting metalloproteins that lurk in the red blood cells of all vertebrates?

Hemogoblins.

What will be running through the mind of a person who's suffocating??

Definitely not oxygen.

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A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

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What did the sexual deviant hydrogen say to the oxygen?

Do you like bondage?

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