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Ottawa Jokes

An Ottawa man dies and goes to hell.

When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.”
The man says, “No problem. I’m from Ottawa.”

So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then goes ...

What is the first thing an Ottawa Senator does after winning the Stanley Cup?

Turn off his Xbox.

The convoy trucks are leaving Ottawa.

They're on the Highway to Hull.

(Canadians will get this joke)

A buddy and I went out to grab some dinner, figured the protestors in Ottawa would be ecstatic we were exercising our freedom.

Turns out they were quite unhappy with the man-date.

A woman from Ottawa drives all the way to Montreal for a tinder date.

They meet at a local French restaurant. Half-way through dinner her date stands up and prepares to leave. Huffily, the woman asks, “you’re leaving because I’m not French, aren’t you?”. Her date responds, “No, it’s because you’re from Ottawa, and I only eat local”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where do Baby Airplanes Come From?

A mother and her very young son were flying Westjet Airlines from Ottawa to Calgary .. The little boy (who had been looking out his window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?"

The mother (who c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope flies out to Canada

The Pope is visiting Canada For the first time in a very long while. He has two stops before he leaves; Ottawa and Toronto.

So the Pope lands in Toronto and steps out of his plane and looks about. He sees an entire crowd of people waiting to see him.

As he looks out into the crowd it a...

Each Man Gets One Wish...

Steve Bannon, Donald Trump, and Justin Trudeau are walking along the path outside the Ottawa Parliament, when they come across a lantern in their path. Upon picking it up, a a cloud of smoke appears, and when it clears, to their amazement, there's a Genie!

The Genie says, "As there are three ...

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