UPJOKE

One Like Jokes

My brother did one like that after a long string of pirate jokes.

"What's a pirate's favourite crime?"

"Arrrrson," I said, chuckling at my cleverness.

"You idiot," he replied, "it's obviously Piracy."

Why does no one like the swiss army?

Because they are all a bunch of tools.

Why does no one like fish merchants?

Because they selfish.

No one likes russian dolls...

... they're so full of themselves!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

No one likes to watch disgusting and degrading porn

More than I do

Why did no one like to hang with the male pig?

He was too Boar-ing.

Why does no one like the number 4?

It's too square.

"Luigi, what was the name of that Schumer chick that no one likes?"

"It's Amy, Mario."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can't believe no one liked my Elvis impersonation

Personally, I think that having a drug overdose on the crapper was spot on.

Why did no one like the Eskimo accountant?

Because he was cold and calculating.

The reason no one likes my story about a broken pencil:

It's pointless.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My father taught me to be reserved and respectful, he said “Son, no one likes a cocky asshole”

“Well, except for uncle Brian and the guy from the hair salon”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone likes his brother better, but one day this guy finds a magic lamp...

Genie: You get three wishes

Guy: Finally! something for me and not for my asshole brother Derek

Genie: Oh, Derek's your brother? that guy is so cool -I wish he'd rubbed the lamp instead- ... Tell you what, I'll give you whatever you wish for, but I'll double it for Derek. This is j...

Why did no one like the cannibal that started eating his own body?

He was too full of himself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered "Aye, I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle."

The manager liked the Geordie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK,...... so how many sales did you make today?" The Geordie said "Just the one like" The manager groaned an...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.