UPJOKE

No Pressure Jokes

This sub could do with more Geology jokes

No pressure.

Tell me a flat tire joke...

No pressure

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wedding Night..

A virgin is nervous on her wedding night.

Her husband says, "don't worry there's no pressure." We'll come up with a signal when you're ready."

"If you want to have sex, pull my penis once. If you don't, pull it 100 times."

Why are dogs afraid to go to space?

Because of the vacuum

Edit: Sorry if this joke is ruff

Double Edit: on the other hand, when I go to space I feel no pressure

Anyone want to buy a broken barometer?

No pressure..

Why are Astronauts always so calm?

There's no pressure in space.

I really like my new job in the vacuum industry

There's no pressure.

An engineer has trouble dating and seeks advice from his friend:

Friend: Just go to a bar and meet girls, its a no pressure environment.

Engineer: I don't know, one bar seems like way too much pressure for me. Can I go to a pascal instead?

Quick, you have ten minutes to create an absolute vacuum

no pressure

Students, for your science exam you will be required to create a vacuum.

No pressure.

What's the reason my shower isn't working?

You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.

A threat

An elderly man was on the operating table awaiting surgery to be performed by his son, a renowned surgeon. Just before they would put him under, he asked to speak to his son: "Don’t be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is goi...

Want to come out of the capsule and do a spacewalk with me?

No pressure.

An astronaut was ejected from the ISS naked.

It's OK, though. He felt no pressure.

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