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Fast Food Jokes

What is a Pirate’s favorite fast food restaurant?

...Long John Silvers. Most probably thought I was gonna say “Arrrrby’s.” Lol

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Porn is like fast food

Beforehand-Looks appetizing, quick, and affordable.

Afterwards-You feel ashamed and disgusted with yourself.

...and you have mayonnaise stuck on your hands.

Which fast food produces the most radiation?

>!Fission chips. !<

Where do monkeys go to get their fast food?

Burger Kong.

What's the only Papally-approved fast food chain in the US?

Popeyes

what did Jeffery dahmer say after eating at a fast food place

This does not taste like five guys

Old couple goes to a fast food restorant.

They order one burger and fries, sit down and divide the burger and fries. A man from table next to them sees that and asks politely: "If you want, I can buy some extra food for you." "No thanks, we are a old couple, we share everything." Time goes by and the man is eating, but the woman is not. Fro...

A fast food employee dropped my burger patty on the floor before serving it to me.

They said it was ground beef.

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Salon and Fast food

The hair salon near where I live, has a special offer where you get free McDonalds whilst you wait for your color to set. . .

It's called "Eat crap & dye".

A little old couple walked into a fast food restaurant.

The little old man walked up to the counter, ordered the food, paid, and took the tray back to the table where the little old lady sat. On the tray was a hamburger, a small bag of fries and a drink. Carefully the old man cut the hamburger in two, and divided the fries into two neat piles. He sipped ...

What’s a bukkake-lover‘s favorite fast food restaurant?

Five Guys.

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To all the teachers who said I would be nothing but a fast food worker and an alcoholic,

Fuck you that just was a lucky guess.

Everytime I eat fast food I can talk to dead people...

Maybe I should quit ordering the medium fries.

A German goes to a fast food restaurant

He wants to order a meal, but can't decide.

"Chicken?", the teenager at the counter tries to help.

"Nein, I wan't to eat it here."

A guy goes to a fast food shop.

He goes to the counter and asks the worker (old lady) for a burger without onions. The lady takes a couple minutes inside the kitchen and comes back saying to the guy: “I’m sorry darling but we’ve run out of onions, can I offer you a burger without tomatoes instead”.

What do you call a vampire who works the night shift at a fast food restaurant?

Count Spatula!

Once, many many years ago, there was a fad among fast food restaurants

to put historical, sometimes military or industrial items in their front yards as a kind of attraction/plaything; an old howitzer or maybe even a train caboose that kids could inspect or climb on. Sometimes these unlikely things would be decorated with the characters or dishes of the food chain. For...

Every time I go through a fast food window

They hand me my food and say “sorry about the weight.” I know I could lose a few pounds but this is just rude.

An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant.

They order one hamburger, one order of fries and one drink.

The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife. He...

If you’re interviewing for a fast food job and they ask about your short and long term goals

Short term : I want to work at McDonalds

Long term : I don’t want to work at McDonalds

First rule of Fast Food management:

Always put the employee with the worst accent on the drive-through.

Oh, have you heard about the new Spanish fast food place?

I think it’s called KFSí.

Fast Food Fury

My fast-food order arrived but it was incomplete. I was missing my fries. They had no more ketchup. They ran out of napkins. And the cashier said, “I can’t give you a lid for your drink or you won’t be able to drink it,” and she pointed at the previous customer holding a drink. That is when I threw ...

What Do You Get When You Mix Breaking Bad With Fast Food?

Walter Whitecastle, aka “Heisenburger”.

Have you heard about the activist group that fights for ceramic containers in fast food restaurants?

They call themselves the "Bowl movement".

I have a weakness for casual fast food....

That's why I keep a condiment in my wallet.

Have you noticed the fast food is tastier lately?

Because the food industry workers are finally washing their hands!

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Which fast food joint would you like to see in space?

Personally, I'd love to see Five Guys on Uranus

Have you heard the movie that they’re making about fast food?

It’s getting filmed in Greece.

The Parish Fast Food Shop

One day, the local parish decided to open a fast food restaurant, so they can make some more money on the side as church attendance was dropping. Being the smart people that they were, they divided themselves so each person does one job.

The fast food restaurant was doing quite well, and the...

i got a wrong fast food order delivered today with NOTHING in it

i wanted mcdonalds but got jack in the box

What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?

Chick Fillet

Our local monastery has opened a fast food outlet.

I went in and said to the guy "Hi, are you the deep fat friar?"

He said "No, I'm the chip monk."

Two priests decided to open a fast food joint.

The first became a fish friar, while the other became a chip monk.

A fat man goes into a fast food restaurant and orders his food. The cashier says that it will be a minute or two for his food. Finally his food is ready. The cashier hands the food to the fat guy and tells him,

"Sorry about your weight."

Why wouldn't the pimp eat at the fast food restaurant?

He preferred his meals Ho-made.

Why does animal hate fast food?

Because It keeps running away from them

Why do the French like to eat snails so much?

They can't stand fast food.


It's my first post on Reddit. Hope you like it.

What did the pirate say when he dropped his fast food order?

Arrr! Me harteys!!!

What do you call a fast food chain run by slaves?

Three Guys

My fast food addiction is really starting to cause me issues.

For starters, I can't find anywhere in New York that does a decent cheetah sandwich.

It's quite appropriate that fast food cashiers...

often open with "sorry for the weight".

I’m really enjoying one of Stephen King’s most famous movies while eating some fast food.

I guess you could say I’m lovin’ IT.

What do you call an American's God-given right to fast food?

Manifest Density

how much is a life-time supply of fast food?

Not much.

Which fast food chain would be a good basketball player?

Dunkin' Donuts

Why are the fast food workers in California so much better than everywhere else in the US?

They never have to worry about putting the straw in the bag.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which fast food joint is a euphemism for female masturbation?

Jack in the box. (Jackin the box)

Where do fast food places get those square fish for the filet-o-fish sandwiches?

From the asquarium.

What does a neckbeard call a woman he meets at a fast food joint?

McLady.

What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints?

You want flies with that?

My friends favourite NSFW joke

A fast food worker gets home early from his night shift. His wife asks him: "Why are you home so early?"  He replies, "I put my fingers in the potato peeler and they chased me away"  The wife asks confused: "And the potato peeler?"
"She also got fired"

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Even if Hitler had only run a fast food chain, it would have turned out terribly...

I mean, who wants to order the "Arbeit Macht Fries"?

I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself.

Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?

Why did the characters from Fifty Shades of Grey get into a fight about fast food?

They couldn't agree where to go. Christian wanted Domino's, but Ana insisted on Subway!

These days are different, you can't celebrate your kid's birthday at a fast food restaurant anymore

My ex-wife freaked out when I told her about our son's Mario themed party. All I said was that he got a boo cake from Five Guys.

The ancient Romans would be saddened to know how many of their advances we'd forgotten. Aquaducts, fast food, underfloor heating...

But hey, it's all water over the bridge.

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I'm done. Guys, I'm fucking sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint.

What makes it worse is that I live in a small town, so business is pretty limited and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates.

I'd get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive too, but I've failed every damn test I've ever taken.

I'm socially awkwa...

Apparently there’s a beef shortage on the rise.

Good news is fast food restaurants shouldn’t be affected.

Hot dog

(Half of this joke is translated from another language so i don't know if it's as good as the original when told in English)

Two foreigners come to United States for the first time.

They have very little knowledge about U.S. culture,

So they stop at a fast food place.

...

Why wasn't Taco Bell featured at the White House's fast food feast?

Because Trump would have expected them to pay for the whole meal.

I’ve recently started eating only escargots and abalones.

I’ve been trying to avoid fast food.

What happens when you cross a chicken with a turbocharger?

Fast food.

If Bill Gates eats American food and Ghandi eats Indian food, what food does Usain Bolt eat?

fast food

What does a shark call a jet-skier?

Fast food. (I’m so sorry)

I wanted to get healthier

So, I gave up alcohol, pizza, fast food, junk food, and chocolate.

So far, I've lost 10 pounds and my will to live.

Why do the French like escargot so much?

Well, they've long expressed their disdain for fast food.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer call the guy that ran from him?

Fast food.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor: "Unfortunately sir, you have only 1 week to live."

Man: "Doc, what on Earth are you saying?”, clearly shocked. “What can I do to live at least a little longer?"

Doc: "Well, do you eat greasy and fried food?"

Man: "Yes."

Doc: "You must stop!"

Man: "If it allows me to live longer, I'll do it!"

Doc: "Do you drink...

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