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Fancy Dress Jokes

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Jamaican guy gets invited to an emotion themed fancy dress party (terrible joke I liked when I was younger)

People start arriving before him, first is Sally who knocks on the door dressed head to toe in blue, with tear drops inked on her face. "Ah Sally nice costume, you are clearly sadness, come on in and get yourself a drink."

Next up is Andy, who knocks on the door dressed head to toe in red, wi...

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A man with a completely bald head and only one leg is invited to a Fancy Dress Party.

He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
Dear Sir
Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head an...

A bloke went to his mate's fancy dress party with nothing but a girl on his back.

"So what the hell are you supposed to be?" the host asked.
"I'm a snail." The bloke replied.
"What a load of rubbish!" the host spat. "How can you be a snail when all you've got is that girl on your back?"
"That's not a any girl, mate," the bloke replied, "that's Michelle".

Guy goes to a fancy dress party in a green jumpsuit carry a woman by piggy back.....

Doorman: You can't come in mate, you're not in fancy dress

Guy: Yes I am, I'm a tortoise

Doorman: well I can see you're wearing green, but what's with the woman on your back?

Guy: That's Michelle....

I went to a fancy dress party wearing a chicken costume

And there was a girl there dressed up as an egg!
So I said to her "So are we going to find out, or what?

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Professor Stephen Hawking rolled into a fancy dress shop..

"Good morning." He said to the shopkeeper, in his famous robotic voice. "It's my science department's annual Dr Who fancy dress party tonight. Would you have a Tom Baker outfit for rental?"

"I'm sorry Mr Hawking." He replied. "I just rented the last one out yesterday."

"Oh dear." artif...

Me and the wife went to a bankrobber-themed fancy dress party last night.

Well I did. She stayed in the car, keeping the engine running.

A naked man was walking down the street with a woman on his back

A bloke on the other side of the road asked, "Where are you going?"

The naked man replied, "To a fancy dress party."

"What as?" asked the bemused gentleman.

"A tortoise", said the naked man.

"Well, who is the woman on your back?" said the intrigued gentleman.

"Oh, ...

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I went to a fancy dress costume party the other day...

There was a guy standing there nude! Completely fucking naked with nothing but a girl on his back (also naked).

"What's your costume supposed to be?" I asked the man incredulously.

"I'm a snail obviously bro!" He smiled at my confusion and pointed at the girl he was carrying.

"...

Arnold Schwarzenegger was going to a fancy dress party dressed as Tchaikovsky

However, when he found out that someone was already dressed as Tchaikovsky, he said "i'll be Bach".

Action hero fancy dress ball...

Arnold Schwarznegger, Sly Stallone & Chuck Norris are invited to a ball where they must all go in fancy dress.

They decide to go as classical composers, so they head to the store to buy their costumes for the ball.

When in the store, Sly says: 'I'll dress as Mozart'

Chuck Sa...

a snail goes to a fancy dress party with a girl sitting on top of it

The host says: "what have you come as?"
- I've come as a turtle
- and who's the girl?
- that's Michelle!

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Another fancy dress party joke [NSFW]

Three Italian mobsters are invited to the Don's costume party. The Don isn't your typical Don, though. He has been seeing a shrink lately, and to help his goons get in touch with their emotions he's asked them all to dress as an emotion.

Not wanting to disappoint the Don, the goons go out of ...

I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a tennis ball.

I got served straight away.

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Fancy dress party

A factory hired two new <insert ethnic minority here> employees.
At lunchtime the HR dept officer tells them about the factory annual fancy-dress party that just happens to be on Saturday night.
"now guys, this'll be a great way to bond with your new co-workers, we are having a costume...

I really didn't want to go to a fancy dress christening

but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

My wife suggested we go to a fancy dress party dressed as partridges.

Well I'm game if she is.

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fancy dress party

Man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his p\*nis.

A Lady asks, "What are you?"

He says, "I'm a fireman."

"But you're only wearing a glass jar," says the woman.

He says, "Exactly, in an emergency, break glass." Pull knob and I'll cum as fast as I ...

Everyone loves my "moderately large business agreement" costume at this fancy dress party.

I'm kind of a big deal.

A bloke goes to a fancy dress party with a naked woman on his back

Someone asks him “what are you supposed to be”

He says “I’m a turtle”

And the other person says “well who’s she”

And he says “that’s Michelle”

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The fancy dress party

Steve and Jeff went to a fancy dress party. The theme was "Emotions".

Jeff turns up, stark naked with his dick in a pear. Steve turns up, stark naked, his dick in a bowl of custard.

"What did you two come as?"

Jeff: "I'm deep in despair, Steve is fucking disgusted"

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Three Jamaican guys were invited to a fancy dress party where people had to dress up as an emotion.

The first one turns up in a dress.

Confused, the host asks, "what are you supposed to be?"

"I"m in distress, mon," he replied.

The second Jamaican guy turns up stark naked but with a teddy bear on his knob.

Even more confused, the host asks, "what are you supposed to ...

Went to a fancy dress party as a fridge.

People laughed but at least I looked fresh.

On New Year's Eve, a man arrives at a fancy dress party completely naked

"I'm a turtle" he says

Oh.. Who's on your back?

"That's Michelle" he replies

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Fancy Dress Party tonight. Going as a masturbating guy with Leprosy

Hope I can pull it off.

A guy was invited to a fancy dress party, and decided to go as Adam...

...So he phoned a costume hire shop and asked to rent a fig leaf. A few days later, the said fig leaf arrived, and he tried it on, but as he was fairly well endowed, it didn't quite cover things up, so he sent it back with a note explaining the situation. A day or so later another, larger, fig lea...

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I dressed up as an egg for a fancy dress competition

I went with a guy dressed like a chicken. We had sex at his place afterwords, and an age-old question was answered that day.

It was the chicken.

I met my new girlfriend at a fancy dress party where coincidentally and bizarrely, we were both dressed as dolphins...

We just clicked...

I helped my wife design her marijuana costume for the fancy dress party.

It was a joint effort.

Went to an 80s fancy dress party once, my wife didn’t want me to go as a pop star.

But I was adamant.

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So my friend and I were asked to a fancy dress party

The theme was emotions...

The host opened to door to me wearing a dress and my friend with his penis on a bowl of custard.

Confused, he asked “so what emotions are you guys meant to be?”

My friend said “well he’s in dis dress, and I’m fuckin dis custard”

I've been invited to a fancy dress party at Arnold Schwarzenegger's house. The theme is classical composers.

I'll be Bach.

A guy turns up to a fancy dress party with nothing on but carrying a woman on his back,

When the host opens the door he asks “this is supposed to be a fancy dress party, what have you come as!?”
The guy replies “I’m a tortoise, this is Michelle”

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An word play fancy dress party is in full swing [nsfw]

The host walks up to a lady who's completely naked apart from pink ribbon covering her modesty

He says "what have you come as?"

She says " I'm tickled pink, of course"

The host then walks over to a man in a green Lycra suit with the initials N and V on his chest

He says "...

My friend said he’s going to a fancy dress party as a small island off the coast of Italy

I said “don’t be Sicily”

I often go to fancy dress parties dressed as a shark....

Quite honestly, the novelty is wearing a little fin

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Guy goes to a fancy dress party wearing only his boxer shorts

He's stopped at the door by the bouncer who says "you do realize this is a fancy dress party, what are you supposed to be?"
"A premature ejaculation" the guy exclaims.
"What?" Says the bouncer.
"Well I've just come in my pants" says the guy.

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I went to a fancy dress night wearing just my underpants

I went to a fancy dress night wearing just my underpants. The doorman said, 'What the hell are you supposed to be?' I replied, 'A premature ejaculation'. He said, 'I can't let you in. Suppose the manager sees you. I can't tell him you're a premature...whatever it is.' I said, 'Well, just tell ...

I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a chicken last night.

I had a number of near misses on the way there. Everyone kept driving straight at me.

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Two guys go to a fancy dress party naked... With a twist

They had to dress up as an emotion.

One guy drilled a hole in a pear and slipped it on his old fella.
The other guy got a bowl of custard on a string, tied it around his waist so the bowl was at front with his penis in the custard.

They get to the door. "what the fuck are you dress...

I was just on my way to a fancy dress party in my counterfeit money costume, when someone came along and ruined my plans.



I got held up.

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A man went to a fancy dress party in just his underwear....

The host opened the door to see him there in his underwear. "Erm, yes?" he asked. "Can I help you?"



"I'm here for the fancy dress party." came the reply.



The host eyed him over. "Well, what have you come as? I need to introduce you."


"I'm here as a premature ...

A guy goes to a fancy dress party with his girlfriend on his back....

When asked what he has come as he tells everyone, "I'm a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle of course"
"What's that on your back then???"
"Oh, that's Michele he replies"

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A cab driver picks up a Nun...

The driver looks in the rear view mirror and says, "Excuse me sister, I've always fantasised about having sex with a nun."

The nun replies, "Yeah, you and everyone else. Tell me are you a Catholic?"

"Actually I am" says the cabbie.

The nun then climbs into the front seat and giv...

I went to the fancy dress shop the other day but they couldn't help me complete my wizard costume

You just can't get the staff.

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A young man was struggling to decide what to wear to a fancy dress party

But eventually had a brain wave. When the host answered the door to find the guest standing there in his Y-fronts he asked him what he was supposed to be? 'Premature ejaculation - I just came in my pants!'

I took my family to a fancy dress party, I asked my wife to be a panda, my kid to be a koala and I went as a grizzly. My wife didn't get the joke, so I said I will tell you when we get to the party... At the party I still refused to tell her and told her to be patient, so when we left...

...I simply turned to her and said, thanks for bearing with me!

I walked into a fancy dress shop and said to the woman, "I'm going to a party tonight, and I want to go as an A4 piece of paper."

She gave me a blank look.

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Emotional party

Haven’t seen this one posted before; apologies if I missed it. I heard this at least 30 years ago.
——
Sarah throws a fancy dress party with the theme “emotions”.

Her friend Alice turns up in bright colours and glitter. “I’m happy!” she announces, and Sarah lets her in.

Meg turns...

I once met Bruce Willis

I once met Bruce Willis at a fancy dress party. He was wearing a really shabby looking nun outfit. I was told that he'd worn the same costume to every fancy dress party he'd attended for years. I suppose old habits die hard.

Norse God

I'm hosting a "Norse God" themed fancy dress party for a few close friends.
It'll be a low-key event.

A cabbie picks up a nun...

A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: *'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.'*

She answers, *'My son, you cannot ...

I’ll never forget the day I met my wife.

We were at a fancy dress party. She was standing there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat friend.

They’d gone together, dressed as the number ten. I knew there and then, she was the one.

A nun gets into a taxi...

A nun gets into a taxi and the driver can't take his eyes off her.

Finally, he says, "Sister, I must tell you something but I don’t want to offend you."

She says, "My son, you won’t offend me. I've heard it all after so many years of being a nun."

"Okay," says the driver, "Well ...

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2 guys go to a party

When they get there, the doorman says "you can't come in here boys! This is a fancy dress party. You need to be dressed as an emotion."

The two blokes go over to the local corner store, buy what they need and come back 3 minutes later. One of them had his dick jammed in a pear, and the other...

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A blonde goes to buy a TV.

So, a blonde goes to a mega store to buy a TV, she goes in and she asks an employee for opinions:

Her: "Excuse me, what do you think of that TV?"

Employee: "Sorry madam, we don't sell to blonde women"

She gets furious, goes back home, puts on a hat and a fancy dress and comes ba...

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Greatest Halloween Joke Ever

A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress halloween party.

The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need f...

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Two Indian lads go to a party

Two Indian lads get invited to a fancy dress party, the theme is... ‘come as an emotion’

After much thought the lads think they have it sorted and get prepped for the big night. They get naked, grab their props and head down the hall to where the party is at.

The host is letting peopl...

A green berret is sitting in his living room one evening...

And all three of his teenage daughters come up to him, and tell him that they'll be upstairs getting ready for their dates. The old man just smiles and nods as his eyes turn to the gun by the door.

Around eight 'o' clock the green berret hears a knock at the door, and gets up to see who it i...

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The $40 joke

Steve is going out for his buddy's bachelor party. It's been planned for months. He gets home from work and quickly starts getting ready. His lady, Tina, surprises him with a fancy dress shirt for the big night. "Aw thanks babe, it's amazing". She tells him it was really expensive but "he's worth it...

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