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Conch Jokes

I once met a girl with a tattoo of a conch on her inner thigh

When I put my ear to it I could smell the sea

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The billionaire and the mermaid whisperer

A billionaire is sailing his yacht past a lighthouse, and he sees the elderly lighthouse keeper out on the rocks at the base of the lighthouse, getting a blowjob from a mermaid - the top half was a stunning, curvy redhead, and the bottom half was a tiger shark. As he watches, the pair finish the act...

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Three years ago I mistakenly bought my son a giant conch shell…

I have a son who’s on the spectrum. It’s quite common for people like him to latch onto one specific topic and become an absolute encyclopedia about it. Some people choose trains, some a cartoon. For my son, this was mollusks. Interesting topic I know, but it seemed to be a pretty good deal for us b...

My girlfriend got a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh...

Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the ocean.

If I lie there long enough, I get crabs on my forehead.

Sally can't sell seashells down by the seashore anymore...

She was busted for conch-traband.

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A guy's sneaking up behind his wife at the beach to give her a wet willy.

At the moment he goes for it, she decides to listen to the ocean in a big snail shell.  Yep.  Conch blocked.

Why did Jiminy Cricket hide in a seashell?

He was hoping to be somebody's Conch-ience.

Why did the shell not go to the beach?

Because he was self-CONCH-ious.

What do you call a mollusc that's just short of consciousness?

A Conch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn Tourists...

A guy's driving down in the Florida Keys. He see a little roadside stand and pulls over because he's feeling hungry. He gets out and sees a sign: "CONCH SALAD $5. GROUPER SANDWICH $10. HAND JOB $15. There's an attractive girl in a skimpy bikini standing behind the wooden counter, smiling seductively...

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