UPJOKE
cartooncomic bookcomicsstripsatiresatiricalnewspapermarmadukecomedycartoonistsketchfunniescartoon stripparodypeanuts

If you want to see a comic strip,

you should see me in the shower.

I used to enjoy the Snoopy & Charlie Brown comic strips in the Sunday papers, but lately I've been getting a rash after reading them.

I think I've developed an allergy to Peanuts.

Why did Snoopy quit the comic strip?

He was tired of working for peanuts.

Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Dilbert, Dogbert, Garfield, Jon Arbuckle, and a whole lot of comic strip characters and their pets were on an airplane flying from Miami to Los Angeles...

In the middle of the flight, the flight attendant gave out food to everyone but Charlie Brown and Snoopy.

They asked him why everyone else got some food and they didn't.

The flight attendant said, "Sorry, but we don't serve Peanuts on this flight."

What do you call adult nightclubs for nerds?

Comic strips.

All the urinals have been stolen from the local police department

The police say they have nothing to go on.

(Source: Mother Goose & Grimm comic strip)

Why did Charlie Brown take his pole dancing routine so seriously?

He was tired of doing comic strips.

Bloom County

I used to read Bloom County (a comic strip).

Remember when they put Donald Trump's brain in Bill the Cat?

Who's laughing now.

*Politics* Year 2019, two inmates are talking in a prison:

\- What are you here for?

\- I wrote a comic strip saying that our president was an idiot.

\- Did they charge you under an article for rioting or harassment then?

\- For disclosure of classified information.

Why are artists the only guys who can sleep with comedians?

Because drawing is the only way to make a comic strip.

Jesus is granted one final request before departure.

As Jesus prepares to be sent down to Earth, God says to him, "since you're going to be doing me a huge favor going down to there as a mortal, I'll grant you one request while you're down there."

Jesus mulls over the offer for a moment while examining his human body. When his eyes stroll over ...

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