UPJOKE
culturecivilizationgovernmentsocietyagriculturearchitecturemodernityarchaeologymesoamericareligionsubculturematerialismtaxationhumanismhumankind

Civilisation Jokes

Kim Jong-un walks into a school in North Korea.

He asks a student "Who is your father?

The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."

Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"

The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of...

The rest of my class complained when we were told we're getting the Classical Civilisation class, but I don't understand why.

It's such an interesting topic. I've always wanted to learn about my parents' childhood.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's fake, chats shit, riles up his neighbours and has the strongest army ever seen?

Gandhi from civilisation 3.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men in a desert...

3 men had been crawling through the dry hot desert for 14 days and nights.
They were buggered, had enough.
One of them spotted a tree in the distance. Upon getting closer there was a house.
They jumped up and ran over.
It was the first civilisation they had seen for weeks.
And wh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with a head the size of an orange walks into a bar

He sits down, and orders a thimble of beer. The bartender looks confused, but gets him the drink. "Here's your drink, sir," says the barman. "But I have to ask. Are you, um, okay?"

^("Yes, I'm fine,") says the man. ^("It's not painful or anything.") He gestures at his tiny head.

"But, ...

An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman are driving through the desert, when their car breaks down.

Staring death in the face, they decide their only chance is to try and walk to civilisation.
They decide that they should each take something off the car to help their chances of surviving.

The Englishman takes the roof lining saying "it'll give me shade from the heat of the sun".

...

An engineer, a physician and an economist are in the middle of the desert with only a tin can. [long]

They are starving and far away from civilisation, but they have no way to open it.

The engineer says:
To open the can we need to build this specific machine! It will do the job quickly and efficiently!

The physician and economist mock him:
Yeah, right, we’re in the middle of the ...

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman....

Are driving through the desert in an old jeep. The jeep hits a rock and flips over exploding into pieces but miraculously the 3 men survive. Searching around the rubble the Englishman suggests they each carry one item on their journey back to civilisation. The Englishman says i'll carry the water, s...

The two mexicans, lost in the mexican desert..

Juan and Pablo had been wandering aimlessly around the mexican desert for three days now. Without food and water their hopes of finding civilisation were fading fast.. When through the mirage they sight a bacon tree!

The tree meant food, water and shelter so the two began running towards the ...

Two guys survive a plane crash in the middle of the desert...

Two guys, John and James, survive a plane crash in the middle of the desert. With nothing better to do, and no food or water, they set out in search of civilisation.

A long while goes by, over which time they develop a fierce hunger. Suddenly, off in the distance, they spot a building. Excit...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Camel

A man was riding on his camel through the desert. He was riding for quite some time and as days passed by he got kind of horny. All alone in the desert miles away from all civilisation he thought that he might aswell take the camel. He stopped, made a pile of sand and stood behind the camel and just...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

War camel.

So a plane goes down in the Sahara in WW2.
The survivors are a lieutenant, a sergeant, a corporal and a private. They have a days rations and are many days out from the nearest town.

The looty sends the corporal to scout around for anything to help in their predicament. He returns with a...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.