UPJOKE
bambooplasticutensilwoodivorycutleryeast asiachinaspoonpenknifedowelshang dynastyforkradicalmiddle chinese

Chopstick Jokes

What do you call broken chopsticks?

Chopped sticks

An elderly Chinese man is on his deathbed. To his three sons he produces a small bundle of chopsticks… “My sons…” he murmurs, “these chopsticks…”

“I know, father!” says the eldest son. “These chopsticks are like your children, right?” The father shakes his head. “These chopsticks…” he tries again.

“I know, father!” says the middle son. “When we are united, we are unbreakable, right?” He begins with flex the bundle and true enough they...

Luke Skywalker took a hissy fit in a restaurant. Try as he might, using Chopsticks was seemingly far beyond his fledgling Jedi skills. Embarrassing himself and causing a bit of a scene, Ben Kenobi leans over and offers some wisdom:

"Use the forks, Luke!"

What did Obi-wan say to Luke, when he saw him struggling with the chopsticks?

>!"Use the fork, Luke."!<

My friend just told me he’s got these little lightsaber chopsticks he uses when he eats ramen.

I told him he should use the forks.

Obi-wan and Luke are getting hungry...

...so before they hit the cantina they stop off at the best Chinese restaurant in Mos Eisly.

And poor Luke, he just can NOT figure out the chopsticks. He's getting more food on him than into his mouth, and really embarrassing Obi-wan.

So Obi-wan says to him, "Use the Forks, Luke."

I tried to teach my grandma how to eat noodles with chopsticks

She accidentally made a sweater.

Q: You know how to eat soup with chopsticks?

A: put them down and pick up the bowl.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Japanese, Brit and Indian

A Japanese, a brit and an Indian were traveling by a private jet with their personal belongings. Due to low fuel they were asked to throw off some of their belongings mid air to reduce the weight. They all agreed to discard items which were in abundance in their country.

The Japanese threw h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.

These are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.

What every athlete says after winning: "First of all, I'd like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."

Chuck can eat Chinese food with one chopstick.

Chuck threw a few rocks into the Pacific Ocean. These are now known as Ha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do the Yankees want Mr. Miyagi on their team?

Because he can catch fly balls with his chopsticks.

Luke Skywalker and R2-D2 go to a Chinese restaurant for dinner...

.... Luke scans the menu and sees his favorite egg fried rice so he say to R2-D2 “Oh I’m definitely ordering that!” Sure enough when the waiter comes along he orders the egg fried rice and a few other side dishes.

Now Luke is absolutely starving, so as soon as his meal arrives he picks up the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hamster act

A guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, will you let me drink for free tonight?"

The bartender says, "Let me see and I'll consider it."

So the guy reaches into his bag and pulls out a miniature piano and a hamster. The ha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are on a train

One is Chinese, one is American, and the last one is an Indian businessman. A fly came into their compartment and landed on the Chinese guy. He goes into his pocket, pulls out a pair of chopsticks, grabs the fly and eats it. The American guy is horrified and looks at the Indian, who couldn’t care le...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to a sports day in Japan today. I

t was quite enjoyable but I must say the egg and chopstick race was a challenge.

What is another name for a knife?

A chopstick!

What do Chinese lumberjacks do?

Chopsticks

One day, Obi-Wan and Luke visit a Chinese restaurant.

Obi-Wan is eating normally, but Luke is having so much trouble with the chopsticks he's spilling the food all over the table.

Eventually, Obi-Wan becomes angry and says, "Use the forks, Luke!"

Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant.

Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke’s still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, “Use the forks, Luke.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wedding night

One guy is playing tennis and gets hit hard on the penis, causing 'penile muscle trauma'. In agony, he addresses the doctor:

\- Doctor, see what you can do for me ... I will get married at the end of the week; my fiancee is a virgin and I cannot disappoint her.

\- Don't worry, I'll t...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.