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Catherine Jokes

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It's Catherine and Michael's 15th Wedding Anniversary

>**Catherine:** "You know what, You've bought me enough jewelry the past 15 anniversaries, so this time I'm gonna make it all about you."

*Catherine decides to take Michael to a strip club as a special little gift. They arrive at the strip club, and are greeted by the bouncer at the do...

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Whats the difference between Catherine the Great and Putin?

Catherine only fucked her horse. Putin is determined to fuck all of Russia.

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Sister Catherine is asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.

Little Sheila says:
"When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!" Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barks: "What the **** did you say?"
"A prostitute!" Sheila repeats. Sister Catherine breathes a sight of relief and says: "Thank God! I thought you said a Protestant"

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Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.



"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.

Sister...

There was a man with an odd habit of repeating one sentence, that he'll make a slingshot and kill the birds.

His family was extremely worried about this. They feared he had completely lost his mind. The family took him to all nearby doctors but all in vain. They had nearly given up when one day they heard about this spiritual healer.

In hopes of getting him fixed, the family decided to travel far a...

My first original joke. Feel free to critique

Prince William, Catherine, and their children were all enjoying dinner one evening. The food did not sit well, and everyone but Catherine was experiencing gas later that night.

“I’m surrounded by a bunch of tooters!” exclaimed Catherine.

William said, “Dear, we’re not Tudors - we’re WI...

A small company hosts a costume party

A small startup company announces they will be holding an employee costume party to celebrate the end of their first fiscal year in business.

The theme of the party is “Past and Present” to celebrate the work that has been done while also looking forward to the years to come. To further expa...

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Johnny at school..

At school, Johnny's class is learning about medicines. Catherine, the teacher, asks the students what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for.
The first pupil said, "Paracetamol ?"
"Very good! And what is it used for?"
"It is used for a headache."
The second pupil said, "R...

I met an amazing girl on Tinder

Her name is Catherine Fisher

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Famous Agnes

Agnes was bragging to her boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know.
Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of her boasting, her boss called her bluff, "OK, Agnes, how about Catherine Zeta Jones?"

"No dramas boss, Catherine and I are old friends, and I c...

If anyone's interested, my buddy has tickets for Champions League Final match (26th of May) in Kiev, Ukraine

He bought the tickets, but the damned fool forgot he was getting married that weekend. Anyone up for taking this off his hands?


The girl's name is Catherine and she's really lovely.

An elderly Catholic school teacher was seduced by the priest.

As she got out of his bed and began to get dressed, she said, "I can't face the children next week and tell them to be good, when I'm nothing but a regular sinner!"

"Regular sinner? Sister Catherine, you've only done it once!" said the priest.

"True," she replied, "but we still have th...

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Four nuns go to heaven

Four nuns, Sister Mary, Sister Catherine, Sister Theresa and Sister Constance were en route to deliver food to a poor mountain village when their bus slipped off the narrow road and fell down the mountain to their deaths. Naturally, the next moment they found themselves at the pearly gates where St....

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting

the branch of a tree hanging over a river ...
..., his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe had fallen into the water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the...

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Catholic girls

A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, "Mary-Agnes, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?"

She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one...

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British Redneck Joke

Bubba Windsor and Earl Spencer had just finished a leisurely tour of The Fitzwilliam Museum at Grove Lane and a gourmet repast at Loch Fyne Restaurant Ltd. on Trumpington St. On this fine afternoon they were proceeding northwest toward King's Parade and their destination, St Catherine's College of C...

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