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Golfer: "You must be the world's worst caddy!"

Caddy: "No, that would be too much of a coincidence

Did I tell you about the time my friend had a heart attack while driving his Caddy?

We call it his Cadillac Escalade cardiac escapade.

Tiger woods and the old caddy

Tiger was playing a round at Pebble Beach, his regular caddy was not available so an old-timer in the pro-shop offered to carry his bags. Tiger agreed and off they went.

Every time that Tiger hit a bad shot, the old caddy would say...

...when i was a young man, i would go for the gr...

Stevie Wonder rings Tiger Woods and says

"how do you fancy a round of golf"

Tiger says "I didn't think you would be able to play Stevie"

Stevie explains how he had a caddy put a device in each hole that emits a constant high pitched tone and he can tune an earpiece into, which tells him the direction and distance to it.
...

I'm not a professional caddy or anything....

but I think Tiger Woods probably should've used a driver.

For golfers only

A man is playing so badly that he says to his caddy, “I’m done with it all. I’m going to jump in that lake and kill myself.”
Caddy replies, “do you think you’ll be able to keep you head down that long, sir?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A golfer and his caddy went to Japan for a tournament

The caddy went out to a brothel one night, and for the entire night, the hooker he was with screamed “YAMAKOTO, YAMAKOTO!”. The caddy, not knowing Japanese, assumed that the hooker was praising him.
The next day was the big tournament. The golfer scores a hole in one, and the entire crowd shouted...

Jesus is playing golf with Moses as his caddy.

They get to a par 3, but there is a small pond between them and the hole. Jesus asks, “what should I use?” Moses responds, “Arnold Palmer can hit with a 9 iron, but you should use a 7.” Jesus days, “If Arnold can do it, I can do it.” He tees up and hits the ball into the water. He sends Moses t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Robot Caddies

So a guy decides to take the day off from work for a round of golf, and when he gets to the course he asks for a caddy. The pro shop manager asks if he'd like to try out one of their new robot caddies. "Sure, why not," the man replies. As he goes through the course the robot caddy is giving him the ...

Four priests decided to enjoy the beautiful weather and went golfing in polo shirts and khakis.

However, their game was not going well, and after a series of terrible shots, the caddy asked, "Are you guys priests?"

"Yes, we are," replied one of the priests, "Why?"

'Because,' said the caddy, "I've never seen such bad golf and such clean language."

Golf

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf & enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, “I've played so poorly all...

A Politician Dies And Has To Spend Just ONE Day In Hell

A politician dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..."

"Well, yes, is that a problem?"

"Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for p...

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An old man was playing golf

An old man was playing golf, suddenly a hearse passes by. The man drops his clubs, takes of his hat and lets it pass by. His caddy says that he was an amazing man. The man responds, it's the least I could do for my wife of 40 years

A guy goes to his local golf course...

The club pro asks him if he wants to try out one of their experimental new robot caddies...on the house.

"Sure, why not?" the man says.

He returns after playing 18 holes and raves to the club pro about the caddy. The robot gave him swing tips throughout the round and always chose the ...

Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder are in a bar.

Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"

Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now."

Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I ...

Golf Trick Shot

This American golf fanatic always dreamed of playing at st. Andrews, and finally got the chance.

Going with his wife, they teed off and he proceeded to play the best game of his life.

After 9 holes, he was 5 strokes under par, and was on cloud nine.

On the back nine, he start...

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A wife gets instructions from her husband's doctor

Doc: Ma'am, your husband can live a long life, but you have to follow a set of instructions. First, you have to cook his favorite meals, depending on his requests. You'll also have to drive him anywhere he needs to go, and he should get lots of activities. Movies, sport events, you name it. If he pl...

Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course."

Caddy: "Try heaven, Sir. You've already moved most of the earth."

Bill,a pro at the local golf course,and Ray,his longtime friend and caddy,went out golfing.

Bill was getting lined up for the most critical putt of his life.It would mean the course record and TenThousand dollars.When a funeral procession came by,Bill stops what he was doing,takes off his hat,holds it to his chest,and bows his head.

"What the hell is wrong with you,"Ray asks?"This i...

A golfer is having a horrible day on the course.

After another shot into the woods, he says aloud, “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”

His caddy puts the club back into his bag and says, “Try just heaven, because you’ve already moved most of the earth.”

Play golf?

(True story)

Many years ago, I was on a job interview. The guy interviewing me was a big golf lover, and had golf stuff all over his office. He noticed me noticing it and asked if play golf.

Somehow, I came up with the perfect answer. With a [mostly] straight face, I replied, "No, but ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man has an elephant...

A man has an elephant that is getting too expensive to feed, so he puts an ad in the paper for a 50/50 contest. 20 dollars to enter, and if you can make the elephant jump, you win half the pot. Many people try but nobody can do it. One day, a slick guy in a Cadillac shows up puts money in the jar...

A businessman went to a golf club.

A businessman went to a golf club he frequented every weekend. When he tried to hire a caddy, the manager told him that they no longer had any to hire.

"Well then," said the man, "What am I supposed to do without a caddy?"

The manager politely informed him that all of the caddies had b...

Taking his son golfing

Mr. Smith was a bad golfer, but God help him, he still loved to play the game. One weekend morning, his wife couldn't look after their son, so he agreed to bring him along, and have him act as his caddy.

When they got to the course, he pulled his son aside and handed him a scorecard.

"...

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