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Bands Jokes

Mariachi bands are like hookers.

Bottom line, you're really paying for them to just go away

I'm opening a bar that hosts brass bands every weekend.

I'm calling it "HornPub".

What do you get when you cross a hurricane with a cruise ship full of 1990's boy bands?

Washed up musicians.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Favorite bands

What’s an ornithologist’s favorite band? The Byrds

What’s a geologist’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones

What’s a herpetologist’s favorite band? The Turtles

What’s a vaccine developer’s favorite band? The Cure

What’s a pyromaniac’s favorite band? Arcade Fire

...

Our bands bassist was always coming in late

He just couldn't get the timing right, so we kicked him out of the band. He got so depressed, he threw himself behind a bus.

Why do Ska Bands make the best Door Dash drivers?

Because if you order food they'll *pick it up, pick it up, pick it up*.

The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.

They called the song “Helen Keller”.


Courtesy of my adult daughter onto which my ‘dad humor’ has clearly rubbed off!!

What do you call someone who plays in multiple bands?

PolyJAMorous!

What genre of music do Czech bands play?

Prague Rock

Why did the African band win the battle of the bands?

They were Moroccan

I like metal bands with female lead singers...

Something about women screaming makes me rock hard.

Aside from King Crimson, did any other seminal progressive rock bands form in London in 1968?

Yes

I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80's bands...

There is no cure...

How do emo bands prepare for their shows?

They self-harmonize.

TIL Christian bands have a favourite chord.

G sus

An assistant to Donald Trump

>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.** 
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confett...

Progressive rock bands probably hate today.

Because it's 4/4.

U2 are one of Ireland's most successful bands.

Or according to their tax returns, one of Netherlands' least successful hardware store owners.

You think people in bands are cool?

Imagine Dragons

What's a marching bands favorite Germanic Tribe?

The Saxons

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Nazi leader who only listens to obscure bands?

Adolf Hipster

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