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Amphibian Jokes

What is the most curious amphibian?

I'll give you a hint: They axolotl questions.

Why was the amphibian so mad?

His car got stolen.

It was toad away.

Teacher: Give me an example of an amphibian.

Student: A frog.

Teacher: Any other examples?

Me: Another frog.

Favorite Amphibian Joke

I'm sure many of you have heard this, but it's one of my favorite frog jokes:

A man walks into a bar with a large frog growing out of his forehead. The bartender couldn't help staring at it, finally he had to ask: "Where did that come from?" The frog looked him straight in the eyes and croake...

What do you get when you mix an amphibian and a caveman?

A froglodyte.

What do you call a perfume for amphibians?

A frogrance




I just made this up. I hope you like it

If amphibians had AAA

It would be toadside assistance

What kind of shoes do amphibians wear?

Open toad.

What do you call a river amphibian that spends a lot of time on the dark web?

Haxolotl

I'd do a joke about amphibians.

But they've all been toad.

“I don’t know, man— you really think an amphibian like me has a shot with the princess?”

“Toadily.”

I caught my wife sleeping with amphibians behind my back

I asked her why, but she had a frog in her throat

Two biologists are discussing a new book on amphibians...

Biologist 1: What did you think of the chapter on frogs?

Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting.

I took my new pet amphibian into work this morning.

My boss wanted to know why I had named my pet "Tiny".

I replied - "cause he's my newt".

A frog went for a DNA test...

The results came back 99.9% amphibian and a tad Polish.

Just another pirate joke

So there is an amphibian who grew up as a tadpole, and every day, he would see these giant ships passing around him and wanted to take a ride on one.

He asked several captains of the ships if he could ride with them but they all turned them down, saying "What use would I have for an amphibian...

I bought the tiniest amphibian I've ever seen at the local pet store.

He's my newt.

I just bought a very tiny amphibian for a pet.

It's my-newt!

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So a guy and his frog walk into a bar.

And he has a few to many drinks by himself and the bartender begins to worry. The man asked for another pint.

"I think you've had a few to many," the bartender responds.

He replies in a drunken tone, "I'm a traveling showman, and I have a million dollar act. If I show it to you, can I ...

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

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Made for each other - a thread

How would you describe the perfect couple of eggs?

- Laid for each other

How would you describe the perfect couple of prostitutes?

- Paid for each other

How would you describe the perfect couple of necrophilliacs?

- Dead for each other


How would you desc...

What does a Salamander say when you catch it in a lie?

I amphibian.

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the golf course frog

A golfer playing a round by himself hits his ball near a pond. As he approaches the ball he notices a small frog right next to the spot where his ball landed. Not wanting to hit the frog, he bends down and moves the frog onto a rock nearby. As he sets up his 8 iron shot, he hears the frog croak 'rib...

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A scientist is studying a trained frog.

This frog has been trained to jump on command. Any time it hears the phrase "Jump, frog, jump!" it leaps with all its might.
The scientist prepares a scalpel, sewing kit, and measuring tape and begins his experiment; he says "Jump, frog, jump!" and as soon as the frog hears his voice, it jumps....

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